I was faced with this question in 2015 when my life fell apart. To try and save myself, I approached a coach to work with me and through the coaching journey I discovered that I was my own worst enemy. Understanding and accepting that allowed me to transform my life by addressing:
Perfectionism
I grew up believing perfectionism is a positive trait. It allowed me to make sure that I do everything exceptionally well and that I expected that from others. But this led to me placing unrealistic expectations on myself and others , and if I (or others) did not live up to it, it would cause me a great deal of stress and unhappiness. Through my coaching journey I have learnt and accepted that doing my best is good enough; and that perfectionism is not necessarily an ideal to strive for.
The article 12 Signs You Are Your Own Worst Enemy | By Brianna Wiest provides more useful tips on moving out of this negative mindset.
A partial summary
It’s often easier to be your own worst enemy instead of your truest friend, and paradoxically, this choice can feel safer. It allows us to brace ourselves against the judgments and perceptions of others, presenting a facade of realism that seems effortless. However, many overlook the profound impact their thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions have on shaping their lives, often unconsciously allowing their minds to go on autopilot. We must recognize that we are in control, ready to steer in any direction we choose. Embracing self-love means becoming your own best friend, caretaker, and source of fulfillment, a challenging yet essential journey. Society often pressures us to seek happiness externally, fueling consumerism and insecurity, but true change comes from within. Ultimately, being your own worst enemy is akin to declaring to the Universe that we are not accountable for our own lives, which only leads to disappointment when relying on others for care and love. We must all confront the reality of being our own best friend and acknowledge when we are our own worst enemies.
One common way we sabotage ourselves is by preemptively criticizing our traits to avoid being hurt by others’ opinions. "You Bully Yourself So Nobody Else Can Surprise You With Something You Don’t Already “Know”". Instead of diving into negativity, we should view our perceived flaws in the context of our overall identity. For instance, feeling jealous doesn’t erase the fact that we have other positive qualities. Aim for honesty and realistic self-reflection, and develop comfort with the discomfort within you, determining whether you are resisting your truth or adopting someone else’s narrative.
Read the full article here: https://www.bustle.com/articles/108589-12-signs-you-are-your-own-worst-enemy-and-how-to-become-your-own-best-friend